|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
Here’s one for the ages. Doc writes a letter to request legal representation against McBride & Associates (law firm) when their radio commercial was playing too loud and damaged his eardrum. The irony is that he is requesting representation from the same law firm in which he is proposing litigation against. Would you believe an attorney for McBride & Associates wrote back and agreed to represent Doc?
Doc sends irate letter to the Bamboo Garden Chinese Restaurant in Cicero, IL and holding them personally responsible for his Uncle Wallace’s Death. Apparently Doc received a fortune from his fortune cookie that said, “you will soon encounter unexpected wealth.” The next night, his wealthy Uncle Wallace passed away unexpectedly and willed over $2 million to Doc. You have to see the broken English response that Doc receives back.
Doc complains to the Maryland Lottery Commission that the numbers they pick for winners are crappy and never work. As a regular player Doc suggests that they not offer so many numbers to choose from so he could increase his chances of winning. Doc threatens that failure to comply with this request would result in sending a carbon copy of his letter to the State Senator. In response, The Lottery Commission basically dares Doc to make good on his threat and the war of words becomes a brilliant mess.
After an all night drinking binge, Doc was staggering to his room at the San Remo Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas when he was so disoriented that he mistakenly deposited four rolls of quarters ($40) into a snack machine thinking he was playing the slots. When maintenance worker Ernesto Ruiz helped Doc pull out 25 snack size bags of Cheetos, Doc realized he’d been duped. The operators of the snack machine (T. Lawrence & Sons) received a nasty letter from Doc complaining that the snack machine should have never been located in the casino and told the company to “go to hell.” T. Lawrence & Sons offers Doc a one sentence response and basically laughs in his face.
Doc writes Microsoft under the guise of being a co-owner of a window washing company called Doc’s Windows 2000. Many customers who see Doc’s advertisement often call his phone number for technical questions about the Microsoft’s Windows software program and not about washing windows. Doc tells Microsoft he is tired of providing technical support to their customers and to quit giving his phone number out to them. Doc informs Microsoft that he once suggested to one of their customers who complained about their screen freezing up that they pound the monitor with a hammer and guess what, it worked. Doc attaches an invoice for $447.58 for all his efforts in satisfying their customers and asks if they have mistakenly received any calls from businesses seeking to have their windows cleaned. Amongst many other things, Microsoft requests that Doc refrain from representing their company. This letter is a must read.
