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I insist that you give the designer of your toilet seat protection covers a well-deserved pat on the back. In the bathroom stalls at my health club is where I first discovered your toilet seat covers approximately one month ago. While I have used toilet seat covers in other public restrooms, none have impressed me more than the Kimberly-Clark brand.

I hate the brand that is utilized in the bathrooms of our office building. Not only is the paper too thin, but the hole opening in the middle is much too small. Obviously careful thought went into your product and let me tell you, this picky consumer has taken notice. Your handy dispenser allows me to take several home with me whenever I want, and I’m not too embarrassed to say, I generally will stick a few in my briefcase.

Please allow me to share an idea with your company, which I believe, will give you increased market share in the toilet seat cover industry. My idea offers an enhancement to your already great product, except now it becomes multi-tasking. I shall explain:

I think you will agree that many Americans are trying to lose weight. A very high percentage of these people wish they could lose some of that weight in their rear end. Unfortunately, a bathroom scale cannot inform them of any updated butt shrinkage.

The new RUMP MEASURER from Kimberly-Clark however, will chart the progress

Here’s how it works. Simply print some graphics on your normal toilet seat covers which simulates the same type of measuring markings that you would find on a ruler, or yardstick. Now in the privacy of their own bathroom or public restroom stall, a person can measure their rear end to see if they have lost or gained size in that area.

My wife is the perfect candidate for the RUMP MEASURER. Over the past few years, her caboose has increased in size. While she claims it is the result of giving birth to three kids in five years, I believe it’s an over abundance of chocolate eclairs. Either way she has been dieting and exercising, which I have noticed an improvement in her tush, but she doesn’t. The RUMP MEASURER will now allow her to update her improvement.

I have attached an illustration of the new RUMP MEASURER (hopefully) from Kimberly-Clark for your review. Please write me back as soon as possible to discuss an immediate face to face meeting. Together we will offer a product that millions of people will embrace. I am anxiously awaiting your earliest response.